In May I took a trip with my family to Folly Beach just outside of Charleston, South Carolina. We stayed in a fantastic beach house, slept with ocean breezes wafting in through the windows, and walked on the beach at sunrise. Aside from getting the chance to spend time with my family, one of the things I enjoyed the most about the beach house was the outdoor shower. In the morning or after swimming in the ocean, it was wonderful to hop in the shower and get those same breezes while washing your hair. It was only a tad disconcerting when people walked by outside on the street, but they really could only see the top of your head if they were looking.
I was telling someone just this morning at church that I would really love an outdoor shower here. I would put it on the patio downstairs and use it just to cool off on hot days. We had an extensive conversation about the logistics of an outdoor shower and the drawbacks (snakes, spiders, cold water), but in the back of my mind, I still kind of wanted one.
Well, I no longer want one.
When Dan and I arrived home from church, he put some stuff away downstairs and I went upstairs to change and get a glass of water. I also wanted to open some windows to catch the breeze. I went from room to room opening windows. My last stop was the dining room. As I unlatched the window and pushed on the bottom to open it, something caught my eye in the backyard of the apartment building (units) next door.
A naked guy. No, wait. Two, maybe, three naked guys. Showering with a garden hose in the backyard of the unit.
Unfortunately, I had to look twice to make sure I was really seeing what I thought I was seeing.
It was a giant, naked butt. And the guy was turning around…..slowly. I ducked to the left to a) avoid being seen and b) to avoid seeing what I knew I would see when he finally turned around.
And then I did what any good, human would do: I ran down the stairs and said, “Dan, you have got to go and look out the dining room window.”
Dan did and said, “There’s a guy with shorts on hosing himself down with the garden hose. So?”
He either missed the naked guy and was looking at a totally different guy-who-showers-in-the-backyard or the naked guy put some shorts on because he knew people could see him.
This apartment unit is one of 4 just over our fence, and this particular unit is quite sketchy. And by sketchy I mean I saw one of the occupants arrested the other day and put in the back of what I can only describe as a paddy wagon. Sketchy as in visitors at odd hours of the night. Sketchy as in lots of shouting at weird times. Sketchy as in the other three units don’t like this one unit because the occupants, allegedly, sell drugs.
And sketchy as in visitors to the unit have to shower naked in the backyard with the garden hose.